Do you ever receive a comment and you can't help but take it personally? Learn the 101 on viewing a comment as a criticism versus a path to a result and how to shift towards the positive path.
types of comments...
There are many different types of comments that may come your way.
ADVISORY COMMENT using sentence - giving advice to someone or making a suggestion (ex. "If you're feeling overwhelmed, try creating space to meditate." or "Eating healthier meals may help with your health concerns.")
ADVISORY COMMENT using a question - giving advice to someone or making a suggestion using a question (Examples: "Have you tried to meditate when you feel overwhelmed?" or "Would you consider eating healthier meals to help you feel better regarding your health concerns?")
DIRECTIVE COMMENT using a sentence - telling someone to do something (Examples: "When you get home, please do your dishes." or "I'd like you to quiet your voice when I am sleeping.")
DIRECTIVE COMMENT using a question - asking someone if they would do something (Examples: "Can you do your dishes when you get home?" or "Can you lower your voice when I am sleeping?")
EVALUATIVE COMMENT - making a statement regarding the quality of something (Examples: "I'd like your graphic design to have a different font. It looks a bit out of place." or "The food tastes great but needs more seasoning.")
SO, ARE YOU VIEWING A COMMENT AS...
HOW TO SHIFT THE VIEW FROM A CRITICISM TO A PATH TO A RESULT
Have the awareness of how you are perceiving or may be prone to perceive comments. This allows you to catch yourself when triggered and change your focus.
2. KEEP CALM!
Take 4 deep breaths after receiving a comment to ground yourself in calm and positive energy.
3. DISCERN THE TRUE INTENTION
Try to understand the intention of the commenter. Is a partner/friend/co-worker/family member really "out to get you" and put you down. If you cannot discern the intention, ask the commenter what their intention is. Remind yourself that you may not have the true full picture until you know the intention. Even if you think you know the intent, you can always ask for confirmation or for more clarity.
4. CHOOSE TO SHIFT
Make the choice to practice these steps.
5. ALLOW & ACCEPT FALL BACKS
Acknowledge that shifting takes time. Accept when you taking things as a criticism because that means you're becoming aware of it!
6. FIND THE ROOT CAUSE & LEARN TO TRUST
Often, taking comments personally is a shield that you create in response to you feeling unsafe. Sometimes this response is automatic and caused by a deeper root issue. Discover the root cause as to why you would feel unsafe. Is it rational or is it based on past trauma having nothing to do with that commenter, but more ingrained as a habit or instinct? Practice trusting in yourself and others. Understand that others probably wouldn't want you to feel unsafe.
7. VIEW AS A WAY TO GROW
When a comment comes your way and it doesn't sit well, get in the habit asking the following question: How can I grow from this? The comment is giving you a beautiful opportunity to grow. It may allow you to personally grow. It may allow growth in your relations. And it may allow and enable others to grow too.
8. VIEW AS A WAY TO HELP OTHERS
If the comment involves helping a team, family member, friend, co-worker, partner, etc, you have the opportunity to help others. This means that the commenter knows that they can count on you to help them. This means that the commenter values their relationship with you enough to comment in the first place. This means that the commenter sees a place that you fit into their life and sees some area that will make the relationship even more successful.
As a certified Clairvoyant Intuitive, Reiki Master Teacher, and Animal Communicator, Sydney Wippman is passionate about providing her research, downloads, and wisdom as you embark on your spiritual path towards awakening.